The Big Yellow Envelope

Friday started just like any other day, with me dragging myself from bed and sitting half asleep on the couch whilst Awesome Hubby brings me my morning coffee. It was raining, had been for most of the night, and once my eyes were formally open for the day I eyed the pelting sky with trepidation.

Luckily for me Awesome Hubby was the one to get wet as he took the girls to school, and I was able to enjoy the warmth and dryness of home. However, I found myself to be at a loose end. ‘What’s going on??’ I thought in frustration. ‘It’s not Wednesday, but it cetainly FEELS like a Wednesday!’ I was in a funk.

It’s not that I didn’t have things to do, I just didn’t have any desire to do them. Washing? Pffft! It will just get dirty again. Cook dinner? Meh, that’s what takeaway is for. Tidy the kids bedrooms? Nah, just close the doors. I looked in the fridge twelve times, I changed the channel on TV fourteen times, I prowled around the house looking for something that would occupy that void inside me with something of interest.

I decided that I would brave the rain and check the mailbox. Maybe there would be some interesting junk mail. Life really is boring when you begin looking forward to junk mail. Sighing with boredom and frustration at a life devoid of mental stimulation I slouched out to the mailbox and looked resignedly inside. And I saw it.

The Big Yellow Envelope.

I felt a flutter in my chest and a lurch of excitement. Big Yellow Envelopes are nearly always exciting or interesting. No-one purchases a Big Yellow Envelope unless they plan to place something important inside. Perhaps my day was looking up?

I scooped up the rest of the mail and hurried inside, trying to decide on how I was going to open The Big Yellow Envelope. Will I rip it open first, leaving the less important and interesting mail to last? Or do I save it for the end, and open the boring, white envelopes with little windows first? Such a quandary, such a dilemma!

I decided to forego the white envelopes altogether as being unworthy of my attention. Tossing them aside I hold up my prize, imagining what must be inside. Ripping open the end and slowly drawing out the pages, I unfolded the sheets with ceremony and prepare to unlock the mystery of The Big Yellow Envelope.

First glance reveals the insignia of my chosen university in the top right hand corner. With barely concealed excitement I scan down the page, savouring the words of the opening paragraph.

Dear Shereen,
Congratulations! I am pleased to advise you that your application for your chosen course has been accepted…

After ten years, marriage, three kids and one mind going stagnant with a lack of mental activity, I am once again a student- it’s official! The Big Yellow Envelope has told me so! I am on my way to becoming a writer! I imagine my name as a byline in a magazine and on the cover of a book, in big, bold letters- and felt that shift of a serious pipe dream morphing into feasible possibility. Though I had to give myself a reality check when I started visualising myself being interviewed by Oprah, striking an intelligent yet down-to-earth air as I frankly discuss my rise to fame. Maybe one day….

With a delicious glee I came to the futher important realisation that starting uni again is a perfect new-bag-purchase opportunity, and the news became that little bit more exciting. As I pictured myself going into class with my funky bag surrounded by my student peers, it became painfully obvious that there will be a *slight* discrepancy in age. Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!! I’m a MATURE AGE STUDENT!

Oh how I used to sneer at the mature agers sitting importantly at the front of the class, answering questions with gusto and enthusiasm unmatched by anyone else in the class! And now that person is me! Visions of me as a popular funky student wafted away and were replaced with me being laughed at by super styled, ipod toting Gen Y-ers.

So my Friday funk was replaced with scheming and planning on how to strike that perfect balance of mature age coolness in the noughties, and rehearsing my witty yet educated responses for my future interview with Oprah. What a difference the arrival of a Big Yellow Envelope can make to a day!